Short guy and his girlfriend

Height and Depression: It’s Okay To Be Short!

I have a friend who is slightly over 6 feet tall, he’s a pretty tall guy.
He once asked a girl out and she rejected him pretty harshly, telling him that she was attracted to taller guys.

When he told me that I was surprised at first, but then I started thinking.
If my tall friend was too short for her, how do actually short people handle these situations?

Suffice to say, he took it pretty hard.
He even started believing that maybe he was too short and that there was something wrong with him.

Yeah, this coming from a six-footer.
His problem wasn’t about his actual height, it was about his perceived height.

Some studies suggest that, for males, any demographic that is even slightly shorter than average already has an increased risk of depression and suicide.

Our height is something that we can’t really change.
We need to learn to live with our height, for better or for worse, and a lot of people have trouble doing just that.

It’s true that shorter men tend to have certain problems that are unique to them, but for the most part, these problems can be overcome.

So what problems are we dealing with here?

So we’ve established that shorter men definitely have their own struggles to face, but that’s only the first step.
In order to know how to deal with these problems, we need to identify them first.

As it turns out, when it comes to their mental state, shorter men people face two specific problems in particular:

  1. Men sometimes tend to draw their confidence from their physical aspects. As such, being shorter than average can hurt their self-esteem
  2. From a physical point alone, women tend to be more attracted to taller men (on average)
    This makes getting into a relationship much harder.

Being too short can hurt your self-esteem

One truth about men is that we want to fit in, yet stand out at the same time.

Men tend to have much higher testosterone when compared to women and that tends to make us more competitive, prideful and energetic.

Those qualities lead guys to measure themselves against their peers on a regular basis.
Often times, those measurements and comparisons focus on the more physical aspects.

How many times have you seen a guy who would lie about how many pull-ups he can do? How many times have you seen guys try to make themselves seem taller, add another inch to their height if they thought they could get away with that?

Unfortunately, where there’s pride there can also be wounded pride.
Studies show us that people who see themselves as short tend to feel inferior and become much more self-conscious and fearful of how others see them.

Some guys even become paranoid and irritable, hiding their own insecurities with aggressive behavior.
This is what we call a “Napoleon Complex”.

Well Dressed guy

Being short makes getting into a relationship much more difficult

My friend got rejected by some girl based on his height, which is something that can happen to everyone.
different women have different tastes, but there does exist a general consensus about how tall should a guy be.

As it turns out, women generally think that the ideal height for a guy is 5ft 11in. In other words, not too tall, not too short.

Based on this data alone, anything shorter than 5ft 11in is less than ideal.
According to them, being any shorter than 5ft 4in is considered to be too short for comfort, to the point where many would consider those guys undateable.

The dating site analyzed 50,000 interactions between males and females over the course of two months.
According to their findings, even at best, the likelihood for a woman to initiate contact with a guy that’s 5-foot-9 or shorter is only 5.4% at best.

The fact is that most women just don’t like short guys, they aren’t as physically attractive to them.
The problem here is twofold:

  1. The inability to get into a relationship can be very frustrating. Many guys want to enter a genuine and loving relationship but they get constantly rejected instead.
  2. Rejection can be really hard to deal with. Some studies even claim that rejection activates the same parts of the brain as physical pain does.
    Getting constantly rejected can make guys lose their confidence and decrease their self-esteem.

So, how can you overcome your height-related depression?

Contrary to popular belief, it is more than possible to overcome any of those problems.

In the end, the thing that holds shorter guys the most is their perception of their height.
They allow their height to affect their mindset and confidence, and as a result, this affects many other aspects of their lives.

The truth is that attractiveness and positive self-image are drawn from a variety of factors, only a few of those have to do with a person’s height.

Being short can actually be pretty great!

We as humans tend to always see the worst in any given situation.
If something is good we will complain that it’s not great, if something is great we will be frustrated that it isn’t perfect.

This situation is no exception.
Despite the disadvantages that short guys have, their height also gives them quite a few benefits:

As you can see, shorter men tend to be healthier and have more stable relationships.

Be the best version of yourself that you can be

When it comes to attracting women, your height is only one criterion out of one of multiple categories of things that you can take pride in.

Even then, you can certainly do a lot to improve your physical aspects as a whole.
Being short is a disadvantage, and you can’t do anything to be as tall, or taller, than others.
But you can be more fit and better dressed than them.

But even that isn’t a necessity.

Sure, taking pride in your physical aspects can be very important to our male pride, but women sometimes care about it a lot less than we do.
Studies show that physical attraction isn’t as important to women as it is to men.

Guys who are funny, charismatic and confident are very successful with women, more so than physically attractive guys who don’t have the same qualities.

The truth is that the average guy doesn’t stand out in any particular way.
Any guy who puts at least some effort into self-development is bound to stand out from the crowd, regardless of his height.

By being the most exceptional guy in the room you will draw the attention of women and the adoring gazes of your fellow men without even trying.

Honestly, if that’s not a confidence boost then I don’t know what is.

Now, I am by no means an expert on the subject, but I do know someone who is.
Brock from “The Modest Man”, a blog that helps shorter men achieve success in love and life, wrote a great article on how to be attractive regardless of your height.
Be sure to check it out, his advice is some of the best you’ll find.

Shorter guy taller girlfriend

Being a short man is hard

Look, being a short guy isn’t easy, but it isn’t worth worrying about either.
Actually, worrying isn’t going to help you at all.

One idea I believe in that the only problems that you should focus on are the ones that you can do something about.

If you can’t do anything about your problem then you should waste your time worrying about it.
You worrying about it isn’t going to change anything, so you really shouldn’t bother.

On the other hand, if you can do something about your problem then it is your responsibility to do it.
And in this case, you certainly can.

We’ve established that shorter men tend to have issues with their self-image and confidence, and there’s plenty to be done about that.

The best way to improve your self-image is to be the best version of yourself that you can be.
There are many ways to stand out of the crowd (in a good way), and the majority of them are within your reach.

Focus on things like your fitness, sense of humor and relationships and you will get results.
And sure, getting into a relationship in the first place may be more difficult for you, but keep in mind that shorter men tend to have overall better relationships.

In other words, your efforts are going to pay off.

In the meantime, I got a question for you: What are you going to do next?

It’s important that you take action because without it nothing is going to change.
Make sure to write your answers in the comment section below, I always enjoy reading them.

If you got any questions that you would like to ask me personally then please contact me via email.

Email: [email protected]

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19 thoughts on “Height and Depression: It’s Okay To Be Short!”

  1. Came across this blog and as a guy height challenged at 5’6” I certainly don’t sit around pondering what if’s. I was fortunate to have some success financially and that has become a great equalizer when it comes to hooking up with tall and taller women which they all seem to be.
    My present significant other is like 6’1” age appropriate and has no problem making me her second love her first being hi heels.

    1. Hi Sean, thanks for sharing!

      Some people do struggle a lot with this sort of issue, but just sitting around and doing nothing about it is not the way to go.
      I’m glad to hear that you are having success in your romantic life!


    2. I am not a short man, just shorter than my
      significant other. I am 6’1” and she’s a statuesque
      6’6” and has no problem rising even further
      with her shoe choices which puts me totally at
      her control as I am not even close to her lips an
      cheeks when we are in the upright position.
      She does take delight in the fact her stature
      is so dominating and I must admit at times it
      has caused me much anxiety even though I
      feel I am secure within myself with this situation.
      We have both gotten past the stares and comments and would just hope we wouldn’t be
      looked at like a freak show.

        1. What if you have ADHD, Autism, anxiety disorder, no social circle, career and short?

          In a highly competitive society, all these things just constantly feed one after another. The more advantaged consolidates more power and perks; the less fortunate lives more and more miserable as their disadvantage multiplies their difficulties.

          For instance, a short man have less career success and wealth, so they have less opportunities to meet women, leading to less practice; they become more socially awkward, which dress codes cannot compensate that, leading to trail further behind tall men. Now after covid-19 which forces people to go online, making things even worse.

          This article keeps backing up data on disadvantage of being short, how objectively women just don’t find short men attractive. Yet the conclusion decides that it is all the subjective perseption of short men, and that improving other prospect can compensate the disadvantage–without data to back them up!

          This is disengaging from reality. It’s time to face it: the society either should have now devote some resource to conpensate short men; provides funds and research on height increase, or laws to regulate dating rejection of women. There needs to be a collective effort, not atomization of solution

          1. I don’t know about this – People are born with their own advantages and disadvantages.

            In the end all you can do is work within your limits, whatever they may be.
            As a side note, if a woman rejects you purely based on your height then maybe looking for a partner elsewhere would be better.

    3. Came across this very interesting blog and since it
      falls right in my wheelhouse, first let me indicate
      I am a height challenged good looking guy 5’2” fortunately that didn’t interfere with my very successful investing career and has provided me
      with the resources to be with very beautiful and
      of coarse taller women(that’s every woman) and
      my present love interest is 5’11” and finds it necessary to wear very hi heels making our height
      difference beyond laughable, amazing what money can do?

  2. Roger Richmond

    Trying to handle the anxiety being with a taller woman i’m feeling. I am 6’1” she is 6’0” and it’s all
    good even when she wears very little heels, however most of the time she insists on wearing
    6” heels and at that point it’s like anxiety, humiliation and a little embarrassment and as
    foolish as it sounds it’s more than troubling and it’s
    been hurting the relationship. I know she has every right to wear heels and as much as she expresses that her being taller isn’t an issue for
    her, however I just don’t seem to be able to handle

    1. I know the feeling man haha, goes to show you how height can be a problem no matter how tall or short you are.
      When push comes to shove though it’s important to remember that height difference should absolutely be the last thing that stops the two of you from seeing each other.

      Far be it for me to be anyone’s love guru though.


  3. I’m a 5’2 guy, 26 and never had a relationship.
    The biggest struggle is that people dont take you seriously, and its much harder to earn respect from other guys. I remember in uni, I was always the brunt of jokes amongst my friends in the first few months…jokes not about my height per se, but I was always the one being made fun out of. I had to endure those moments, and eventually I managed to earn their respect and they became some of my closest friends; but I cant help but think how unfair it is that I had to literally fight my way to earn it.
    Guys not giving you respect is always going to be a turn off for women, because theyre more drawn to socially respected and confident men. I’ve never experienced love from women and I expect that lack of social respect is definitely one of them. One of the most humiliating situations was during university, I had a huge crush on a girl, and my friend made fun of my height to which she laughed awkwardly. I remember my heart sinking, and my ears burning red. Needless to say, it burnt out every drop of confidence I had left. Nothing ever happened with her and after 5 years, i Still cant get over her.
    Seeing your friends being given respect in the crowd, developing relationships with beautiful women whilst your still struggling with self esteem and low confidence only makes it worse. At 5’2, I’m only a few inches more than being a dwarf

  4. As a fellow short guy and now aged 36 I’ll say it as it is to my short brothers, in a world where height = value and respect just forget about it, we are always going to play second fiddle to the taller men, just thinking that we MUST work on ourselves and make improvements to fractionally increase our chances (careful, too much and you’ll be branded with a Napoleon complex…) but a tall guy just gets the free ride (literally) just because he’s tall…. it’s enough to make you realise life really isn’t fair.

    We earn less, have a higher suicide rate, less success in education, are not seen as serious contenders in sports, forget the bullshit that this article is trying to perpetuate, life as a short guy sucks, it sucks during school, during collage and through into your working life. You won’t be taken seriously by co-workers, you’ll be called “miss” by other adults due to your small stature, if you cold approach women they will laugh in your face and you’ll live a life hearing the same excuses over and over “Sorry, I like to wear heels”.

    Don’t even get me started with online dating, it was hard enough against my peers when trying to get the attention of females but this generation of manlets have no chance, every profile you see has something like “don’t swipe unless 6’+” or “short guys need not apply”. Being short has ruined my life and the worst part about it is that there is nothing I’ll ever be able to do about it, as my tall friend once said “If I was as short as you I’d kill myself” or as I’ve read from women on the likes of Reddit, “short men are hideous and worthless, they should just roll over and die stopping the chance of passing on their inferior genes”.

    Take it from me, don’t bother with all this self improvement crap, I’ve done it and it doesn’t change the short perception everyone has of you.

    1. I get where you are coming from, I really do.
      The thing is, you can’t just give up on trying to accomplish whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish, no matter how short or tall you are.

      Self-improvement is the only route available to anyone really.
      It is true that some of us have it easier than others though.

      Do keep in mind that girls that disregard you for your height are probably not the girls who you want to be with, so there’s that.

    2. Huh, maybe short women should also roll over and die, your genes are a product of both parents. You could have a father 6’2 but if he married a 5’2 woman….

  5. I’m also 5’2 and not that good-looking and I can relate to everything you are facing. I’m 33 and never had any meaningful relationship. I always get ignored by both men and women in social situations which makes me depressed, frustrated and anxious all the time.To make matters worse, I have a younger brother who is taller, good looking, confident and gets the attention from both men and women and family. The worst punishment to give a man is to make him short.

    1. There are things that are worse than being short.

      Handling social situations well doesn’t have much to do with your height and there are plenty of popular short guys around.

  6. Very interesting blog, since the covid19 I
    have had plenty of time to read and reflect back on how many times girls/women would tell me how good looking I was, but your so short and yet tall women don’t like references to their
    height and don’t want to be defined by something they had nothing to do with, OK. As a ‘good looking male’ 5’7” my mother was 5’9” and my two younger sisters one 5’10” the other 6’1” and my present significant other is 5’11” and being surrounded by having to lookup and be looked down on by women in my
    immediate family and it’s not an issue?

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